Happiness is a Luxury

I am such an EMO freak. I guess my estrogen levels is high again and its emo season.

Somehow I am a better emo because I produce something with my emo energy.

I have been listening to the OST of the movie Last Kiss. I love the OST. There this song about missing someone that really touches me. At this point I really miss a couple of people.

I miss talking about whatever under the sun with him. I know he is going a lot right now and I am the only one who knows his real pain. It is very hard to fake happiness. I want it to make it right for him since he has fallen hard. Falling in love should a nice experience not a traumatic one. I pray time will heal his wounds and he will become more stronger.

I miss having coffee with him. I miss listening to his stories about cinematography, movies, photography and art. I miss just hanging out at his room watching him work. It is a very very busy time of the year for him. I know he is super pressured that I can't barely talk to him. I still have a hundred of questions to ask him...maybe when he is no longer busy and I have already the courage maybe I will ask him.

I miss my best friend Dodi. I want to talk to him and tell all the gazillion new things with me. I miss hanging out outside my house at 4 am. I miss his wicked laugh and I miss telling him everything. Even my deep dark secrets.

I know I am the cause of my misery when in the first place there should be none. I need someone to talk to. I need to hang out with real people. Instead I am holed in the house alienating everyone.

I know things will be better. I will become busy and I will no longer have time to emo...

Hope that time will come before it's too late. . .